Whereas some would possibly say Donald Trump‘s inauguration marked a somber day in U.S. historical past, The Day by day Present‘s Jon Stewart had dick jokes aplenty.
The comic and political host incised the D.C. affair with one-liners aimed toward these in attendance (from their trend decisions to their common determination to indicate up in any respect), X proprietor Elon Musk’s odd/doubtlessly terrifying salute and outgoing POTUS Joe Biden’s down-to-the-wire blanket pardon.
Concerning the peaceable transition of energy, which started with Biden’s tea-time with Trump, Stewart quipped: “I’m not saying Biden ought to have accomplished his personal riot, however there’s gotta be a cheerful medium between storming the Capitol and ‘would you want a crumpet?’”
As for these current, Stewart marveled on the individuals who had beforehand denounced Trump — as a fascist and in any other case — who dropped by: “George Bush appeared sort of there — undoubtedly excessive. Even Mike Pence confirmed up, I assume to let the gang end the job. Solely Michelle Obama appeared to have the constant moral stance of claiming, ‘After they go low, I keep the f— residence.’”
Vogue statements have been additionally made, giving Stewart a possibility to lob a dig at Melania Trump’s revolutionary hat, which “doubled as an efficient [barrier to Trump’s attempt to kiss her.] When you don’t management your borders…”
However maybe the look of the night was technocracy, as Stewart commented on the presence of billionaire CEOs Mark Zuckerberg (Meta), Tim Prepare dinner (Apple), Jeff Bezos (Amazon), Shou Zi Chew (TikTok), Sundar Pichai (Google) and Musk (Tesla) in seats that may have ordinarily gone to Democratic and Republican governors.
“In the meantime, many dignitaries went not solely hatless, however hairless,” he mentioned. “With the plethora of stocky, bald billionaires who all appeared to go to the identical bio-hack life-extension clinic and say ‘give me the Lex Luthor.’”
He joked, “The 6 guys who management possibly 20% of world’s wealth and a 100% of your nudes,” including, “Shouldn’t this gathering be taking place at a volcano’s lair close to Zurich, or are we simply open-source Illuminati now? The place’s the conspiracy enjoyable in that?”
As for Musk’s gesture — already taking social media and retailers by storm, and which the Anti-Defamation League has defended as “awkward” and “not a Nazi salute” — Stewart mentioned after rolling the clip: “Charitably, I’m going to say that was simply an ungainly, ‘my coronary heart goes out to you’ gesture. F—ing nerve-wracking day, you’re not usually a public speaker, it’s a one-off gesture, please attempt to not use it once more.”
Stewart then let the clip proceed, that includes Musk’s repetition of the gesture along with his again to the stage: “Son of a bitch! Actually wanna make sure that the individuals within the again see it, I assume. I’m simply gonna be beneficiant and say that was Elon’s try at dabbing on the haters? By the way in which, do individuals nonetheless dab on haters? Was {that a} very outdated man factor [to say]?”
Whereas the torch was being handed to the “identical technology of Individuals,” Stewart joked about Trump not inserting his hand on the Bible whereas being sworn in, “clearly as a result of one or the opposite would burst into flames. Maybe each.”
It was all a really kosher “regular switch of energy sh–” besides Biden’s last-minute issuing of a blanket pardon of his household:
“To start with, Biden, you’re on the inauguration. Did you auto-schedule your pardons? And second of all, what the f— man? You’re simply pardoning your complete household? It’s not an awesome look. Yeah, like every good captain, because the ship goes down, Biden gave the order: ‘That life boat is for my household! The remainder of you are able to do similar to a Jack and Rose factor, one on, one off, 50-50 shot, who offers a sh–?”
The final word takeaway of the day for Stewart was: “man who tried to overthrow the federal government has been peacefully handed the reigns of energy and the outgoing president has began a brand new custom of blanket pardoning everybody in his orbit — the 2 males creating an impressive snake-sucking-its-own-dick cycle of no accountability.”
Watch the total phase under:
