When the hell was somebody gonna inform me it’s “Biketober?”
It’s unhealthy sufficient no person informed me that the Rev-X was again.
I significantly like how the information man lets his private biases slip in, and that he’s clearly incensed by all of the riders who aren’t utilizing helmets and lights and are subsequently liable for their very own deaths.
I imply everyone knows the explanation bike deaths are up is due to e-bikes:
Or am I?
Both method, I went to the DOT web site to be taught extra about this complete “Biket Ober” factor, which seems like a Jewish vacation:
, there’s nothing extra annoying than individuals who remind you they’re taxpayers, however I’M A TAXPAYER, DAMN IT! And whereas most of my fellow taxpayers-who-gratuitously-remind-you-that-they’re-taxpayers are complaining about how they’re spending all our cash on illegals or gender reassignment surgical procedure for toddlers or instructing Crucial Race Principle to pets or no matter, what I’d actually prefer to know is how a lot cash we’ve thrown away to date by making a gift of 300,000 freaking bicycle helmets. No matter what chances are you’ll consider bike helmets, what sort of sign does that ship? Does this sound like a metropolis that’s assured within the security of its its bicycling infrastructure? I’m certain I’m repeating myself, however that’s like a restaurant that arms out barf luggage.
Whereas I’m at it, I’d additionally prefer to query the “Supply Employee Outreach”–nothing in any way towards supply staff, or reaching out to them, however ought to it actually be a part of Biket Ober? It looks like this must be a stand-alone factor, since “bicycle” supply has advanced into one thing that not bears a lot resemblance to common bicycling; in actual fact, lots of supply individuals aren’t even driving bicycles in any respect, they’re driving gas-powered motor scooters. So why not simply give them their very own month already? I just like the sound of “Deliveryvember,” it rolls off the tongue like a supply bike off the curb.
After all, there was as soon as a time when bicycle supply conjured up photographs of city outlaws on racing bikes carving by way of site visitors:
Now it seems extra like this:
And as a substitute of carrying a sequence round your waist and thumbing your nostril on the company world you’re working for the enterprise capitalists and wrestling together with your key fob:
However that’s not stopping individuals from paying homage to the romantic picture of the now-extinct bicycle messenger:
And fascinating in competitors that has nothing to do with delivering something, like pulling off actually lengthy skids:
[Like what does skidding have to do with delivering stuff? Is it what you do when you realize you just overshot the address?]
Or modeling their hairstyles:
Satirically, the picture of the bike courier has seems nothing like “bicycle” supply in 2024, however bike courier trend and workplace trend have completely converged to the purpose the place they’re now indistinguishable, and for those who see somebody who seems like a motorbike courier in the present day there’s a 99% probability they’re on their approach to their job in an outdated warehouse district that’s been remodeled right into a tech hub:
[Outlaw office bro working on his TPS reports]
Then once more, driving to work as a substitute of for work doesn’t seem like driving a bicycle anymore, both:
I assume that is what getting outdated looks like.
