Simplicity.
A path:
A motorbike:
A gear, or possibly two:
What extra do you want?*
*[In my case you also need like eight other bikes, but I’m going to keep acting all self-righteous about my phony commitment to simplicity anyway.]
Effectively, it seems you want rather a lot. I just lately joked about “needing a dropper submit to your dropper submit’s dropper submit,” however little did I understand how shut we had been, for a reader has alerted me to the existence of this:
It’s known as the SwitchGrade, and it’ll “unlock the complete potential of your dropper seatpost:”
How does it do that? By letting you alter your saddle angle relying on the terrain. Right here’s a rider in abject distress as a result of he couldn’t angle his saddle down earlier than the large climb:
See how the nostril of his saddle goes proper up his ass because of this?
Ouch!
Now right here’s a rider who may optimize his saddle angle because of the miracle of SwitchGrade:
It nonetheless goes up his ass, however as a substitute of violating him roughly it gently massages his prostate:
Ahhh, that’s higher.
Simply ask Josh Harris, mountain biker and physician of proctology:
Hey, I’m not anti-tech or anti-capitalism. Fairly the alternative–we’re very lucky to dwell in a society wherein individuals have the luxurious of buying a $255 seatpost head:
Certainly, whether or not it’s bike elements, or prostate massagers, or just about any luxurious merchandise you’ll be able to consider, the array of what’s obtainable to us right now on the push of a digital button is actually dazzling, and a reminder that we’re much better off than any people who’ve come earlier than us.
[Intern: insert affiliate link for prostate massager above, no pun intended.]
However, philosophically talking, I have to query what it’s precisely we’re doing right here. How a lot of the bike has to maneuver, precisely? At what level do you cease adapting the bike to go well with the terrain and easily settle for it for what it’s? And at what level does this contraptions stop to be a motorcycle? First the bike was too inflexible, and we made it so the entrance wheel may go up and down. Then that made us understand that the again wheel didn’t go up and down too, so we solved that too. Subsequent got here the seat, which we arrange so it may telescope. (Sure, I’m willfully omitting the Hite Ceremony right here.) However what good is that if you happen to can’t additionally change your saddle angle? This in flip will solely make it essential to invent a tool that permits on-the-fly handlebar angle adjustment, and width adjustment, and ultimately you’ll even be capable of change your tire strain whilst you’re driving. (Oh wait, that’s already a factor.) And that’s not even addressing motors! I nightmares concerning the kinds of battery-powered articulating monstrosities our descendants will in the future be driving.
I imagine that, as a species, humanity ought to by no means resign itself to its destiny. We must always proceed to evolve and to innovate. Certainly, our innate urge to push and to discover and to transcend is the very essence of what it means to be human, and we must always at all times try to defy our limitations.
Nonetheless, I additionally imagine that as cyclists we must always do the precise reverse. For chrissakes, simply suck it up! Typically the path’s too bumpy. Typically the climb’s too arduous. Typically your saddle place isn’t solely optimum. How completely free from any type of problem or adversity or minor inconvenience does your goddamn experience must be?!?
Or high quality, simply get the seatpost thingy, no matter works for you.
